EFFECTIVE EXECUTIVE SEPT.2009
LEADERSHIP
They named this model `centered' leadership. It is supposed to be endowed with a well of physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual strength that drives personal achievement, while at the same time inspiring others to follow. The research carried out by McKinsey clearly indicates that the model of the central leadership resonates well with women. For, women—being doubly burdened by motherhood and management get drained of energy in a quite challenging way; and they tend to experience emotional ups and downs, not only more often but also more intensely than men, and owing to such emotional challenges they are often found opting out of work than men—can, under the proposed centered leadership model, consciously draw upon positive psychology to thrive effectively as a leader. Indeed, many of the successful women leaders whom the McKinsey team interviewed echoed similar ideas.
To understand how these traits help women leaders to wither out challenges in their path to success, we shall take a look at the work of Valmiki, the Ramayana—particularly, the character of Sita,—that had a profound impact in shaping the "cultural mind of India". As Aurobindo commented, Ramayana has indeed "fashioned much of what is best and sweetest in the national character" of India. In it Valmiki chiseled Sita's character as an harmonious embodiment of beauty, tenderness of heart, compassion of the extreme type, fidelity, wisdom of the truest type, courage of the heart, and endurance—what has she not endured. Although Ramayana is a story of Rama and his accomplishments—his ethical imperatives, war-heroism, and idealism—it is Sita who stays back in the mind of every ardent reader of Ramayana. Indeed, it is Sita who affords an opportunity to Rama to display his idealism, heroism: Sita giving away her riches prepares to follow him to forest; Sita demanding for the golden deer and accusing Lakshmana; Sita abducted by Ravana to Lanka; Sita consoled by Hanuman amidst the terror wrecked by the ogresses; Sita spurned by Rama who killed Ravana to free her from him; Sita vindicated by the fire-ordeal; and Sita, the anointed queen of Ayodhya and much more. Her journey through all these ordeals explains how the five dimensions of `centered' leadership enabled her to rise to the occasion at every moment of crisis. We shall now take a critical look at them.
In the Ayodhya Kanda when Rama goes to Sita and tells, "I am now going to the forest for fourteen years at the behest of my father" she at once says, "I am going too." He prevents her and indeed frightens her describing the horrors of the forest. He is equally in love with her but could not entertain the idea of such a delicate lady putting up with all the trials and tribulations of jungle life. Hence, he repeats the warning umpteen times and even imparts to her a great deal of worldly wisdom – how to behave towards his father, mother and towards his brother Bharata in his absence. But Sita, knowing what matters most to her, has no ear for all this. Instead she questions him: "Wherefore do you tender me this advice, which makes me look indeed so small, O Rama, ...A wife alone actually shares the fortune of her husband, O jewel among men! For this very reason I too stand enjoined (by my parents-in-law) that I should as well take up my abode in the forest. In the case of women neither father nor son nor their own body nor mother nor their female companions serve as an asylum here or hereafter. The husband alone is their refuge at all times."
That is the meaning she has about her life. Hence, she says: "If you depart this very day for the forest... , O scion of Raghu, I shall walk ahead of you crushing blades of Kusa grass and thorns (that lie in the way). Casting away envy (at my courage in voluntarily offering to accompany you to the forest) and wrath (at my insolence in flouting your command to stay in Ayodhya), confidently take me... O valiant prince! No sin (that may deter you from taking me with you) abides in me. Protection under the feet of one's husband under all circumstances is preferable (for a woman) to residence at the top of a palace, or living in aerial cars or coursing through the heavens. I have been taught in many ways by my mother and father how I should conduct myself (in relation to you). (As such) I need not be instructed (in this behalf) at this juncture. ...(Nay) caring not for the sovereignty of the three worlds and concentrating my thought on the vow of serving my husband (yourself), I shall live happily in the forest as I would in my paternal home. Serving you everyday with self-reliance and practicing sacred vows, I shall sport with you in woodlands fragrant with (stores of) honey, O valiant prince!"
Her steadfast commitment to the meaning that she ascribed to her life inspires her to confidently—of course, with a face wet with tears—say: "The disadvantages that have been enumerated by you as accruing from an abode in the forest, know them to be (so many) blessings (in disguise) in view of the fact that I am foremost in your affections. Antelopes, lions and even so elephants, tigers and Sarabhas, yaks ...that roam about in the forest are all sure to run away on seeing your countenance since they have never seen your face before and because all are afraid of you. ...(Nay) life in this world must be cast away by me in the event of separation from you, O Rama! In fact not even Indra, the ruler of gods, is capable of overpowering me by his might so long as I am by your side.
Driven by a strong passion for remaining by the side of her husband come what may, Sita even taunts Sri Rama: "I think of my father. He sought all the world for a bridegroom, and at last he got you. If he thought he got hold of the best man for me, he was a fool. What he had got was a woman, a cowardly woman, dressed like a man." Traditionally, these words can be construed as a transgression in the conduct of a wife, but here they only show her profound grief – grief at Sri Rama's refusal to let her go to forest with him, at the very thought of separation from her beloved. But being a brave, and true kshatriya woman, in the same vein she even challenges him: "What are you afraid of? What are the things which you dread that you should reject me who have no other person to rely on earth? I am yours entirely, utterly, and yet you discard me. Where is your moral courage gone?"
She continues to argue: "O Rama, that a (devoted) wife who stands disunited from her husband should not be able to survive. Moreover, in the days gone by while living at my father's, ...the prophecy was heard by me from the mouth of Brahmanas that I must dwell in the forest. ...I certainly know there are sufferings only of various kinds in the forest. They are (however) invariably experienced by men of unsubdued mind (alone), O heroic prince!... Following my husband (to the forest) with loving devotion I shall surely be absolved from all guilt, O pure-minded prince; for the husband is the supreme deity (for a wife). ...If you do not feel inclined at all to take me, afflicted as I am as shown above, to the forest, I shall resort to poison, fire or water to hasten my end".
In this way Sita entreats him—at times even in a harsh tone—in many ways to let her accompany him. It is her knowledge of what matters to her most that obviously inspires her to boldly express her sentiments that are an amalgamation of threat, persuasion, entreaty, preaching of duty, and exposition of the sanctity of marriage, which compels Rama to gracefully take her with him to the forest saying, "be with me my partner in all that I have to do in the forest." Sita, the daughter of Janaka and the wife of Rama, happily then strips herself as bare as possible of all pomp and the burden of pomp and makes herself ready to go to forest with Rama cheerfully, and indeed lives happily in the forest sans palatial comforts that a princess of her status is used to have—all because of her ability to discover what she loves most and working towards its accomplishment.
We come across a scene in Ramayana where we witness Sita, realizing the source of her "flow"—energy—and being skillful in its usage manages it to wither away the greatest crisis of her life successfully. To have a full feel of the state of mind of Sita during this scene of tragic distress let us follow the scene from the beginning. As instructed by Rama, Vibhishana goes to Sita and tells her his message: "Ask her to bathe and perfume herself. Let her put on scents and come to me bedecked with all the jewels she has." It perplexes Sita. She says, "I would rather see him at first as I am, soiled, grief-stricken, tear-bedewed, miserable. Don't ask me to bathe and put on my jewels and appear as though I have been leading a gay life. Let me see him as I am, that is, as I have been here." But Vibhishana, perhaps, having already seen signs of trouble on Rama's face, tells her, "I think you had better follow your husband's order." Perhaps admonished, Sita does as she was bidden and when she presents herself before Rama, he says that he has destroyed the man who ventured to insult him by carrying away his wife and thus wiped out the disgrace. He also says to her: "remember I did not do all this for your sake. No." As he utters these words, Sita at once grasps that a tragic fate awaits her. That's why Valmiki says that as Sita looked up her eyes seemed to indicate the kind of mortal dread, which a stag shows when the huntsman has sent his fatal arrow.
Rama, then intensifying his hostile attitude, knitting his brows with the severity of a magistrate, utters the words: "There is a stain on your character. What man of spirit and born in a noble family for his part would take back with an eager mind a woman who has dwelt in another's house, (simply) because she has been kindly disposed towards him (in the past)? While boasting of my lineage, how can I accept again you, who were squeezed into the arms of Ravana (while being borne away by him) and regarded (by him) with an evil (lustful) eye? ...There is no more attachment for you (in my heart). You may (therefore) go wherever you like."
Hearing the harsh utterance of Rama, which caused her hair to stand on end, Sita feels greatly afflicted. She stood bent low with shame. As though pierced by those arrow-like words, Sita, pulling up her energy, wiping clean her face that is bathed in tears, slowly addresses in faltering accents the following reply to her spouse: "Why do you, like a common man, address to me, O hero, such unkind and unbecoming words, which are (so) jarring to the ear, ...I was helpless when I came into contact with the person of Ravana; I did not act of my own free will on that occasion. My (adverse) fate (alone) is to blame on that score, my lord. That which is under my control, viz., my heart, (ever) abides in you. What could I do helpless as I was, with regard to my limbs, which had fallen under the sway of another? If I could not be fully known to you, O bestower of honour (on others) in spite of our love (for each other) having simultaneously grown and despite our having lived together (for so many years), I am undone for good, thanks to such ignorance".
She then questions him: "When the eminent hero, Hanuman, was dispatched by you in order to find me out, why, O king, was I not repudiated by you even while I was (still) in Lanka? Life, O hero, would have been yielded up by me, ...This useless exertion (in the shape of crossing over to Lanka and waging war with the mighty Ravana) which you have put forth exposing your life to danger would not have been undertaken nor would your friends (viz., the monkeys and Vibhishana) have been put to such fruitless hardship. By you, however, who, like a small man, gave yourself up to anger alone,... womanliness alone has been mainly taken into consideration. The divine origin of mine is not taken into account by you. My exalted character is not prized by you either... Nay, my devotion (to you) as well as my chastity have all been ignored by you."
Speaking so in a voice choked with tears and weeping, Sita then appeals to Lakshmana, who was absorbed in thought and feeling (sore) distressed: "(Pray) raise for me a pyre, the (only) antidote against this calamity. I no longer desire to survive, smitten as I am with false reproaches. I will enter a fire, which is the (only) course appropriate for me, renounced as I am in a public gathering by my husband, who is no longer pleased with my virtues."
Lakshmana, prepares a pyre in deference to the wishes of Sri Rama. Walking clockwise, Sita, approaching the blazing fire, respectfully bowing down to the gods prays: "As my heart never turns away from Sri Rama, so may the god of fire, the witness of the world, protect me on all sides. Since Sri Rama takes me to be corrupt, though of unimpeachable conduct, let the god of fire, the witness of the world, under such circumstances, protect me on all sides. In as much as I have never been unfaithful in act, thought and speech to Sri Rama... , let the god of fire in that case afford protection to me. Since the glorious sun-god, as also the daytime and the twilight and the night as also Mother Earth and others too likewise know me to be richly endowed with good character, let the god of fire protect me."
Any other woman when exposed to such repudiation in the presence of the world, an insult that is beyond endurance, and left to entirely defend herself, would have simply wilted out. But Sita, knowing the source of her energy—her impeachable character, her virtue—pulls up herself to reprimand Rama about the language used by him—a noble husband against a noble wife. Even in such tiring situation she could muster energy to protest that she was not her own mistress when Ravana touched her, and upbraid Rama: "It was not because I wanted to touch him and see how he felt, that I came into contact with him. It was forced upon me. Don't you see? And yet you say these things to me..." Though her heart is wrung by the utterances of her beloved Rama, she could, as the poet says, display vadanmuditpurnachandrakant vimala sasankanibhananaa—a moon-like calm face—only because she is so sure of her virtue from which energy flows into her answering the accusations boldly and meaningfully to ultimately come out of the distress successfully.
Optimists are driven by two fundamental notions: one, positive framing—accepting the facts of adversity and act to counter them; and two, positive thinking—replacing the adversity with positive beliefs. Hence an optimistic person will be better placed to handle the news that he is having cancer—being confident that he can handle the prognosis, he rushes to collect all the relevant information and execute treatment plans, while a pessimist would simply gets paralyzed with fear. We come across one such incident in Ramayana where Valmiki's Sita demonstrates the benefits of optimism in a grandiose manner.
In Aranya Kanda, when Ravana, who comes in disguise as a sanyasin, declares himself and announces his evil intention, Sita bursts out in a fit of uncontrollable indignation. But even in that anger she does not lose her optimism. Indeed, accepting the reality, she makes an attempt to defend herself and in the process, she eloquently speaks about her husband: "Do you know what kind of person my husband is? He is unshakable like the great mountain Sumeru, he is invincible like the great Indra, he is imperturbable like the great ocean. To him do I belong utterly, body and soul. In Rama all the excellences dwell together; like the banyan tree, he affords a wide sweep of umbrageous protection; his word is a bond; his lustre is fadeless. To him do I belong utterly, body and soul. Strong-armed, strong-chested, he has the tread of a lion, he has the majestic mien of a lion, he is a lion in man's shape. To him do I belong utterly, body and soul. His face has the charm and effulgence of the full moon; with the blood of royalty in his veins, he has complete control of his senses and sense-organs; he has a mighty resplendent soul. To him do I belong utterly, body and soul. Do you realize what you are doing? In desiring me, the devoted and worthy companion of Rama, you are a low jackal desiring a lioness far beyond your reach. You can no more touch me than you can touch the radiance of the sun. I guess you behold trees all bathed in gold, as they say doomed persons do, for you are doomed if you dare to desire the beloved of Rama. You desire to draw the tooth of a famished lion. You desire to draw the fang of a fierce hissing cobra. With a feeble arm you desire to lift the huge Mandara, prince of mountains. You desire to drink the halahala, poison, and escape with your life. You desire to cleanse your eye with a sharp needle. You desire to lick a sword's blade with your tongue. You desire to swim across the sea with a stone round the neck. You desire to snatch the sun with one hand and the moon with the other. You desire to carry a blazing fire in your cloth. You desire to walk on a row of pikes with steel points. What disparity there is between a lion and a jackal in the forest, that disparity there is between Rama and you. ...You may carry me away now; but while Rama, like to Indra in prowess, lives and wields the kodanda, you cannot bend me to your purpose, any more than a fly can eat ghee and digest it".
In her rhetoric, she exhibits the presence of mind to mention even about Lakshamana: "A powerful half-brother of his, Lakshmana by name, a tiger among men and the slayer of his foes on the battlefield, is the companion of Sri Rama". She describes Lakshmana as a dharmachari, and a dridhavrata. Here, it is necessary to note that it is the same Lakshmana to whom, a while ago she had spoken harshly accusing him of casting wicked eyes upon her, but now speaks highly of him. It means, in saying those words, she was then not thinking of their meaning but only of their effect in making Lakshmana obey her order to go to the rescue of her husband, Rama. She has the wisdom to limit the impact of her words/thoughts to temporary and specific effect, and also keep them impersonal. Else, she would not have been able to recall Lakshmana so quickly, that too, refer to him in such high esteem before Ravana.
All this only vindicates her positive frame of mind and the `awareness' she had about herself—her ability to change herself in tune with the changing adversity—which prompts her to dissuade Ravana from carrying her away by warning him with dire consequences at the hand of her strong husband and brother-in-law. It is the same optimism that keeps her mind strong even under distress and makes her know what to do at what time: when Ravana is carrying her over Pampa and seeing five monkeys there, she puts her jewels in her upper cloth and drops it hoping that if by chance, Rama passes through that way, they would tell him. That indeed happens. That is the strength of optimism.
Many of the leaders interviewed by McKinsey team talked about the importance of having relationships with seniors in the organization who could stick out his or her neck to create an opportunity to a protégé. But a number of studies have also shown that women who promote their own interests vigorously are often perceived as aggressive, uncooperative and selfish. It is also felt that men practice "reciprocity" better than women. This coupled with the perceived awkward sexual politics between senior executives and younger women, makes it harder for women to get sponsors in the offices. It is therefore all the more essential for women to assess their comfort level with the people they work in office and how influential they are professionally, and practice reciprocity. Many successful women leaders are found to be adept at finding sponsors and building networks.
We have one such scene in Ramayana where we encounter Sita displaying a fine piece of articulation about dharma that reveals her sense of `belongingness' to her husband and brother-in-law, also; her commitment for `reciprocity' immediately after Rama and Lakshmana finishes Virdha. That day, early in the morning, as Rama and Lakshmana are about to leave, it is the turn of Sita to bring the bows and arrows from inside and give to the brothers who were to wear them. And as they leave the hermitage after taking leave of the Rishi, Sita, with a strong sense of what she owed her husband—sense of belonging—poses a problem to him. True to her stature, Sita protests against her husband killing Rakshasas at the behest of Rishis which according to her is a transgression of a yati, muni, which Rama was to be in the forest. She says: "there are three transgressions to which a man is liable even when he makes a slight departure from propriety. False speech is extremely bad; the other two are even worse than that—copulation with the wife of another and cruelty without enmity. A false statement you have never made nor will you ever make... how can there spring up in you the desire for others' wives, that destroys Dharma? You have not got it, nor was it ever with you. ...Dharma and Truth—everything is well-established in you. ...But the third terrible evil, viz., the taking of others' lives, which is done without enmity due to ignorance, is facing you. O hero, you have undertaken a vow to kill the ogres on the battlefield for the protection of sages living in the Dandaka forest; and for this (very) purpose you have set out with arrows and a bow towards the forest well-known as Dandaka with your brother. ...Hence, seeing you on your way to the Dandaka, my mind is perturbed with anxiety, thinking of your behavior and of your highest well-being and worldly interests. I do not like, O hero, your going towards the Dandaka. I shall tell you the reason for that; while I speak of it, please listen."
She continues to say: "Association with a weapon is said to be of the same consequence as is the association with fire. Due to love and great respect I am making you acquainted with this and advising you that while taking the bow you should never take into your head to kill the ogres residing in Dandaka without enmity. ...What connection is there between a weapon and forest-life? What affinity is there between the duty of a Kshatriya and asceticism? The two are contradictory. Let us respect the laws of the place. ...After returning to Ayodhya you can again follow the duty of a warrior. ...From Dharma follows wealth, from Dharma comes happiness, by recourse to Dharma one gets everything. This world has Dharma as its essence. The wise emaciate themselves with effort by imposing several restrictions on themselves and achieve Dharma. Dharma does not follow from merriment. With a pious mind, O gentle Rama, always practice righteousness in the forest suited for austerities. In fact, everything comprised in the three worlds is truly known to you. I have said this just in consonance with the frivolity of a woman. Who is really capable of teaching Dharma to you? However, thinking over it by recourse to reason together with your younger brother you may do whatever appeals to you. Let there be no delay."
Mightily pleased of what Sita said, Rama says: "You have said this to me because you have a right to do so. It was done in good faith, out of an honest desire to put me on the right path. I am not offended... Nobody will chide one whom he does not care for. You chide me, because you are interested in me, because you love me, because you think I should do no wrong, incur no sin." That is the power of one's attempt to connect with people—of expressing concern for others, exhibiting a sense of belongingness. How competent such acts are in strengthening human bondage!
Such engagement, of course, is embedded with risk. Psychologist, Daniel Gilbert says that people who choose risk and work with it, rather than avoid it, are reported to be enjoying more happiness than others do. The McKinsey's study reveals that "to embrace opportunity, people must often take sharp detours and that the risks of unexpected changes seem more obvious than the benefits." Hence, it is suggested that reaching out to others—not to avoid making decisions oneself but to learn the best outcome from change—can often help one see opportunities in the right frame and decide whether to go for them.
We see this trait being employed by Sita to dissuade Ravana through a meaningful exposition from committing sin. In one of his frequent visits to Asokavana where he kept Sita, Ravana tells Sita: "You smile so sweetly; your teeth are so attractive; your eyes are so winsome; you captivate me utterly, as Garuda does when he meets serpents. Come, let us drink together, let us sport together, let us enjoy each other's company..."
All this, of course, is gall and wormwood to Sita. It annoys and provokes her extremely. She scorns him, but engages him with an argument that is a mixture of threat, flattery and advice to see whether any of these modes could conquer his wickedness. This is her advice to him, pitched in the highest possible key: "You do not understand the sanctity of marriage. When you have got another man's wife in your keeping, you must protect her as you would have your own wife protected from others. Think of yourself; think of everybody like you, and then delight in the company of your own wedded wives." In a surprise she says: "Are there no good people in Lanka, are there no honest men who care for righteous conduct, and would you not be guided by them? It cannot be. Lanka is a big place, the Vedas are chanted here, our religion is followed faithfully. There must be many good people. I suspect that you do not follow them. You do not care for the good people that are here. Seeing that your mind is bent upon evil courses, I gather that although there are good people to give you proper guidance, you do not listen to them." It is her positive frame of mind and the strong belief in her character from which constant flow of energy is ensured that makes her even in such hour of crisis to engage Ravana and make him understand what good men should do in any community. Indeed, during these long months of imprisonment in Asokavana, she engages herself to delve into the deeps within to gain strength to face Ravana's blandishments and threats.
That is the noble tale of Sita. Valmiki chiseled her character as a tremblingly human and graciously divine heroine. She is innocent but wise; gentle but strong, and full of love and compassion. And all this reflects in her motivations, conversations, and actions. In creating such a noble character, it is perhaps the intention of the poet saint that whenever we pass through moments of despair and feel helpless and hopeless under the pressure of a menacing atmosphere, we shall recall how Sita overcame the ordeals in her life by sheer dint of her optimism, her clear sense of what matters most to her, her clever management of energy levels, her art of engaging people in discourse in dharma and guide ourselves through the maze of life challenges.
LEADERSHIP
Women Leaders: What Makes Them Successful
-- GRK Murty
The efficacy of McKinsey's new approach to leadership—Centered leadership—that is supposed to help women become more self-confident and effective business leaders, is explained through Valmiki's Sita in his epic, Ramayana.
Taking the fact of men and women starting their careers with the same level of intelligence, education, and commitment, but comparatively few women reaching the top as a challenge, the McKinsey Leadership Project undertook a study to unearth the `drives' that sustain successful female leadership. In the pursuit, they have interviewed 85 successful women in diverse fields, of course, along with a few successful men to get insights into what it takes to be a successful leader. Simultaneously, they have also reviewed the existing literature on leadership, psychology, organizational behavior, biology, etc., and from the so- gathered information they distilled a leadership model that consists of five broad and interrelated elements: one, meaning—knowing one's strengths and putting them to use in the service of an inspiring purpose; two, managing energy—knowing its source, towards what it is flowing, what it needs to manage it; three, positive framing—adopting a more constructive way for looking at the world, to expand one's horizons and build the required resilience to march forward even when the odds are against; four, connecting—identifying those who could help one to grow, and build stronger relationships with them with an increased sense of belonging; and five, engaging—finding one's own voice, becoming self-reliant and confident to accept opportunities along with their embedded risks and collaborating with others. They named this model `centered' leadership. It is supposed to be endowed with a well of physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual strength that drives personal achievement, while at the same time inspiring others to follow. The research carried out by McKinsey clearly indicates that the model of the central leadership resonates well with women. For, women—being doubly burdened by motherhood and management get drained of energy in a quite challenging way; and they tend to experience emotional ups and downs, not only more often but also more intensely than men, and owing to such emotional challenges they are often found opting out of work than men—can, under the proposed centered leadership model, consciously draw upon positive psychology to thrive effectively as a leader. Indeed, many of the successful women leaders whom the McKinsey team interviewed echoed similar ideas.
To understand how these traits help women leaders to wither out challenges in their path to success, we shall take a look at the work of Valmiki, the Ramayana—particularly, the character of Sita,—that had a profound impact in shaping the "cultural mind of India". As Aurobindo commented, Ramayana has indeed "fashioned much of what is best and sweetest in the national character" of India. In it Valmiki chiseled Sita's character as an harmonious embodiment of beauty, tenderness of heart, compassion of the extreme type, fidelity, wisdom of the truest type, courage of the heart, and endurance—what has she not endured. Although Ramayana is a story of Rama and his accomplishments—his ethical imperatives, war-heroism, and idealism—it is Sita who stays back in the mind of every ardent reader of Ramayana. Indeed, it is Sita who affords an opportunity to Rama to display his idealism, heroism: Sita giving away her riches prepares to follow him to forest; Sita demanding for the golden deer and accusing Lakshmana; Sita abducted by Ravana to Lanka; Sita consoled by Hanuman amidst the terror wrecked by the ogresses; Sita spurned by Rama who killed Ravana to free her from him; Sita vindicated by the fire-ordeal; and Sita, the anointed queen of Ayodhya and much more. Her journey through all these ordeals explains how the five dimensions of `centered' leadership enabled her to rise to the occasion at every moment of crisis. We shall now take a critical look at them.
Meaning
The model describes `meaning' as the very motivation behind every move of the people. It enables one to discover what interests him/her. Such identification makes work enjoyable—builds signature strengths into everyday activities, enables one to push oneself to the limit. It provides energy and inspires passion. It leads to happiness at work—which means high job-satisfaction, higher productivity, and increased loyalty. Research indicates that meaning generates feelings of transcendence—creates a virtuous cycle that is bigger than oneself—affording a deeper meaning to one's work. We have a scene in Ramayana, which shows all these forces in action while Sita pleads with her husband, Rama, to let her accompany him to the forest. In the Ayodhya Kanda when Rama goes to Sita and tells, "I am now going to the forest for fourteen years at the behest of my father" she at once says, "I am going too." He prevents her and indeed frightens her describing the horrors of the forest. He is equally in love with her but could not entertain the idea of such a delicate lady putting up with all the trials and tribulations of jungle life. Hence, he repeats the warning umpteen times and even imparts to her a great deal of worldly wisdom – how to behave towards his father, mother and towards his brother Bharata in his absence. But Sita, knowing what matters most to her, has no ear for all this. Instead she questions him: "Wherefore do you tender me this advice, which makes me look indeed so small, O Rama, ...A wife alone actually shares the fortune of her husband, O jewel among men! For this very reason I too stand enjoined (by my parents-in-law) that I should as well take up my abode in the forest. In the case of women neither father nor son nor their own body nor mother nor their female companions serve as an asylum here or hereafter. The husband alone is their refuge at all times."
That is the meaning she has about her life. Hence, she says: "If you depart this very day for the forest... , O scion of Raghu, I shall walk ahead of you crushing blades of Kusa grass and thorns (that lie in the way). Casting away envy (at my courage in voluntarily offering to accompany you to the forest) and wrath (at my insolence in flouting your command to stay in Ayodhya), confidently take me... O valiant prince! No sin (that may deter you from taking me with you) abides in me. Protection under the feet of one's husband under all circumstances is preferable (for a woman) to residence at the top of a palace, or living in aerial cars or coursing through the heavens. I have been taught in many ways by my mother and father how I should conduct myself (in relation to you). (As such) I need not be instructed (in this behalf) at this juncture. ...(Nay) caring not for the sovereignty of the three worlds and concentrating my thought on the vow of serving my husband (yourself), I shall live happily in the forest as I would in my paternal home. Serving you everyday with self-reliance and practicing sacred vows, I shall sport with you in woodlands fragrant with (stores of) honey, O valiant prince!"
Her steadfast commitment to the meaning that she ascribed to her life inspires her to confidently—of course, with a face wet with tears—say: "The disadvantages that have been enumerated by you as accruing from an abode in the forest, know them to be (so many) blessings (in disguise) in view of the fact that I am foremost in your affections. Antelopes, lions and even so elephants, tigers and Sarabhas, yaks ...that roam about in the forest are all sure to run away on seeing your countenance since they have never seen your face before and because all are afraid of you. ...(Nay) life in this world must be cast away by me in the event of separation from you, O Rama! In fact not even Indra, the ruler of gods, is capable of overpowering me by his might so long as I am by your side.
Driven by a strong passion for remaining by the side of her husband come what may, Sita even taunts Sri Rama: "I think of my father. He sought all the world for a bridegroom, and at last he got you. If he thought he got hold of the best man for me, he was a fool. What he had got was a woman, a cowardly woman, dressed like a man." Traditionally, these words can be construed as a transgression in the conduct of a wife, but here they only show her profound grief – grief at Sri Rama's refusal to let her go to forest with him, at the very thought of separation from her beloved. But being a brave, and true kshatriya woman, in the same vein she even challenges him: "What are you afraid of? What are the things which you dread that you should reject me who have no other person to rely on earth? I am yours entirely, utterly, and yet you discard me. Where is your moral courage gone?"
She continues to argue: "O Rama, that a (devoted) wife who stands disunited from her husband should not be able to survive. Moreover, in the days gone by while living at my father's, ...the prophecy was heard by me from the mouth of Brahmanas that I must dwell in the forest. ...I certainly know there are sufferings only of various kinds in the forest. They are (however) invariably experienced by men of unsubdued mind (alone), O heroic prince!... Following my husband (to the forest) with loving devotion I shall surely be absolved from all guilt, O pure-minded prince; for the husband is the supreme deity (for a wife). ...If you do not feel inclined at all to take me, afflicted as I am as shown above, to the forest, I shall resort to poison, fire or water to hasten my end".
In this way Sita entreats him—at times even in a harsh tone—in many ways to let her accompany him. It is her knowledge of what matters to her most that obviously inspires her to boldly express her sentiments that are an amalgamation of threat, persuasion, entreaty, preaching of duty, and exposition of the sanctity of marriage, which compels Rama to gracefully take her with him to the forest saying, "be with me my partner in all that I have to do in the forest." Sita, the daughter of Janaka and the wife of Rama, happily then strips herself as bare as possible of all pomp and the burden of pomp and makes herself ready to go to forest with Rama cheerfully, and indeed lives happily in the forest sans palatial comforts that a princess of her status is used to have—all because of her ability to discover what she loves most and working towards its accomplishment.
Managing Energy
It is everybody's knowledge that today's executives work hard – 60% of executives work for more than 50 hours a week. And returning from the office, woman executives have to literally switch over to the second shift—of managing household chores. Many are known to have burnt out with such grueling schedule, more so women executives. But, psychologist, Mihaly Csiikszentmihalyi says, "those who frequently experienced "flow"—a sense of being so engaged by activities that you don't notice the passage of time—were more productive and derived greater satisfaction from their work than those who did not." Further, his research revealed that such flow energizes them. It is therefore incumbent upon every leader to identify the conditions and situations that replenish one's energy and those that sap it. Self-awareness, it is argued, helps one to deliberately incorporate restorative elements into the day's labor. It can also help one to space out energy-sapping tasks throughout the day instead of bundling them together into either a morning's or evening's project. We come across a scene in Ramayana where we witness Sita, realizing the source of her "flow"—energy—and being skillful in its usage manages it to wither away the greatest crisis of her life successfully. To have a full feel of the state of mind of Sita during this scene of tragic distress let us follow the scene from the beginning. As instructed by Rama, Vibhishana goes to Sita and tells her his message: "Ask her to bathe and perfume herself. Let her put on scents and come to me bedecked with all the jewels she has." It perplexes Sita. She says, "I would rather see him at first as I am, soiled, grief-stricken, tear-bedewed, miserable. Don't ask me to bathe and put on my jewels and appear as though I have been leading a gay life. Let me see him as I am, that is, as I have been here." But Vibhishana, perhaps, having already seen signs of trouble on Rama's face, tells her, "I think you had better follow your husband's order." Perhaps admonished, Sita does as she was bidden and when she presents herself before Rama, he says that he has destroyed the man who ventured to insult him by carrying away his wife and thus wiped out the disgrace. He also says to her: "remember I did not do all this for your sake. No." As he utters these words, Sita at once grasps that a tragic fate awaits her. That's why Valmiki says that as Sita looked up her eyes seemed to indicate the kind of mortal dread, which a stag shows when the huntsman has sent his fatal arrow.
Rama, then intensifying his hostile attitude, knitting his brows with the severity of a magistrate, utters the words: "There is a stain on your character. What man of spirit and born in a noble family for his part would take back with an eager mind a woman who has dwelt in another's house, (simply) because she has been kindly disposed towards him (in the past)? While boasting of my lineage, how can I accept again you, who were squeezed into the arms of Ravana (while being borne away by him) and regarded (by him) with an evil (lustful) eye? ...There is no more attachment for you (in my heart). You may (therefore) go wherever you like."
Hearing the harsh utterance of Rama, which caused her hair to stand on end, Sita feels greatly afflicted. She stood bent low with shame. As though pierced by those arrow-like words, Sita, pulling up her energy, wiping clean her face that is bathed in tears, slowly addresses in faltering accents the following reply to her spouse: "Why do you, like a common man, address to me, O hero, such unkind and unbecoming words, which are (so) jarring to the ear, ...I was helpless when I came into contact with the person of Ravana; I did not act of my own free will on that occasion. My (adverse) fate (alone) is to blame on that score, my lord. That which is under my control, viz., my heart, (ever) abides in you. What could I do helpless as I was, with regard to my limbs, which had fallen under the sway of another? If I could not be fully known to you, O bestower of honour (on others) in spite of our love (for each other) having simultaneously grown and despite our having lived together (for so many years), I am undone for good, thanks to such ignorance".
She then questions him: "When the eminent hero, Hanuman, was dispatched by you in order to find me out, why, O king, was I not repudiated by you even while I was (still) in Lanka? Life, O hero, would have been yielded up by me, ...This useless exertion (in the shape of crossing over to Lanka and waging war with the mighty Ravana) which you have put forth exposing your life to danger would not have been undertaken nor would your friends (viz., the monkeys and Vibhishana) have been put to such fruitless hardship. By you, however, who, like a small man, gave yourself up to anger alone,... womanliness alone has been mainly taken into consideration. The divine origin of mine is not taken into account by you. My exalted character is not prized by you either... Nay, my devotion (to you) as well as my chastity have all been ignored by you."
Speaking so in a voice choked with tears and weeping, Sita then appeals to Lakshmana, who was absorbed in thought and feeling (sore) distressed: "(Pray) raise for me a pyre, the (only) antidote against this calamity. I no longer desire to survive, smitten as I am with false reproaches. I will enter a fire, which is the (only) course appropriate for me, renounced as I am in a public gathering by my husband, who is no longer pleased with my virtues."
Lakshmana, prepares a pyre in deference to the wishes of Sri Rama. Walking clockwise, Sita, approaching the blazing fire, respectfully bowing down to the gods prays: "As my heart never turns away from Sri Rama, so may the god of fire, the witness of the world, protect me on all sides. Since Sri Rama takes me to be corrupt, though of unimpeachable conduct, let the god of fire, the witness of the world, under such circumstances, protect me on all sides. In as much as I have never been unfaithful in act, thought and speech to Sri Rama... , let the god of fire in that case afford protection to me. Since the glorious sun-god, as also the daytime and the twilight and the night as also Mother Earth and others too likewise know me to be richly endowed with good character, let the god of fire protect me."
Any other woman when exposed to such repudiation in the presence of the world, an insult that is beyond endurance, and left to entirely defend herself, would have simply wilted out. But Sita, knowing the source of her energy—her impeachable character, her virtue—pulls up herself to reprimand Rama about the language used by him—a noble husband against a noble wife. Even in such tiring situation she could muster energy to protest that she was not her own mistress when Ravana touched her, and upbraid Rama: "It was not because I wanted to touch him and see how he felt, that I came into contact with him. It was forced upon me. Don't you see? And yet you say these things to me..." Though her heart is wrung by the utterances of her beloved Rama, she could, as the poet says, display vadanmuditpurnachandrakant vimala sasankanibhananaa—a moon-like calm face—only because she is so sure of her virtue from which energy flows into her answering the accusations boldly and meaningfully to ultimately come out of the distress successfully.
Positive Framing
It is commonsensical that the `frames' people use to view the world around them and process experiences do make a critical difference to the outcomes of life. And, professional outcomes are no exception to this general rule. Research indicates that optimists see the world more realistically than pessimists do. And it hardly needs to be stressed here how crucial it is for a leader to be optimistic to make right business decisions. Research also shows that optimists are not afraid to frame the world as it actually is, for, perhaps, they are sure of their ability to manage the underlying challenges by moving their teams quickly to action. As against this, pessimists tend to feel helpless and to get stuck in downward spirals that result in energy-depleting ruminations. Optimists are driven by two fundamental notions: one, positive framing—accepting the facts of adversity and act to counter them; and two, positive thinking—replacing the adversity with positive beliefs. Hence an optimistic person will be better placed to handle the news that he is having cancer—being confident that he can handle the prognosis, he rushes to collect all the relevant information and execute treatment plans, while a pessimist would simply gets paralyzed with fear. We come across one such incident in Ramayana where Valmiki's Sita demonstrates the benefits of optimism in a grandiose manner.
In Aranya Kanda, when Ravana, who comes in disguise as a sanyasin, declares himself and announces his evil intention, Sita bursts out in a fit of uncontrollable indignation. But even in that anger she does not lose her optimism. Indeed, accepting the reality, she makes an attempt to defend herself and in the process, she eloquently speaks about her husband: "Do you know what kind of person my husband is? He is unshakable like the great mountain Sumeru, he is invincible like the great Indra, he is imperturbable like the great ocean. To him do I belong utterly, body and soul. In Rama all the excellences dwell together; like the banyan tree, he affords a wide sweep of umbrageous protection; his word is a bond; his lustre is fadeless. To him do I belong utterly, body and soul. Strong-armed, strong-chested, he has the tread of a lion, he has the majestic mien of a lion, he is a lion in man's shape. To him do I belong utterly, body and soul. His face has the charm and effulgence of the full moon; with the blood of royalty in his veins, he has complete control of his senses and sense-organs; he has a mighty resplendent soul. To him do I belong utterly, body and soul. Do you realize what you are doing? In desiring me, the devoted and worthy companion of Rama, you are a low jackal desiring a lioness far beyond your reach. You can no more touch me than you can touch the radiance of the sun. I guess you behold trees all bathed in gold, as they say doomed persons do, for you are doomed if you dare to desire the beloved of Rama. You desire to draw the tooth of a famished lion. You desire to draw the fang of a fierce hissing cobra. With a feeble arm you desire to lift the huge Mandara, prince of mountains. You desire to drink the halahala, poison, and escape with your life. You desire to cleanse your eye with a sharp needle. You desire to lick a sword's blade with your tongue. You desire to swim across the sea with a stone round the neck. You desire to snatch the sun with one hand and the moon with the other. You desire to carry a blazing fire in your cloth. You desire to walk on a row of pikes with steel points. What disparity there is between a lion and a jackal in the forest, that disparity there is between Rama and you. ...You may carry me away now; but while Rama, like to Indra in prowess, lives and wields the kodanda, you cannot bend me to your purpose, any more than a fly can eat ghee and digest it".
In her rhetoric, she exhibits the presence of mind to mention even about Lakshamana: "A powerful half-brother of his, Lakshmana by name, a tiger among men and the slayer of his foes on the battlefield, is the companion of Sri Rama". She describes Lakshmana as a dharmachari, and a dridhavrata. Here, it is necessary to note that it is the same Lakshmana to whom, a while ago she had spoken harshly accusing him of casting wicked eyes upon her, but now speaks highly of him. It means, in saying those words, she was then not thinking of their meaning but only of their effect in making Lakshmana obey her order to go to the rescue of her husband, Rama. She has the wisdom to limit the impact of her words/thoughts to temporary and specific effect, and also keep them impersonal. Else, she would not have been able to recall Lakshmana so quickly, that too, refer to him in such high esteem before Ravana.
All this only vindicates her positive frame of mind and the `awareness' she had about herself—her ability to change herself in tune with the changing adversity—which prompts her to dissuade Ravana from carrying her away by warning him with dire consequences at the hand of her strong husband and brother-in-law. It is the same optimism that keeps her mind strong even under distress and makes her know what to do at what time: when Ravana is carrying her over Pampa and seeing five monkeys there, she puts her jewels in her upper cloth and drops it hoping that if by chance, Rama passes through that way, they would tell him. That indeed happens. That is the strength of optimism.
Connecting
It is often realized that "people with strong networks and good mentors enjoy more promotions, higher pay, and greater career satisfaction." Such people feel a sense of belonging that makes their life more meaningful. Mark Hunter and Herminia Ibarra have said in their HBR article that a leader is differentiated from a manager by his "ability to figure out where to go and to enlist the people and groups necessary to get there." At the same time it must also be remembered that all networks are not equal. Roy Baumeister, a social psychologist, based on his studies, says that men tend to build broader, shallower networks than women do and their networks give them a wider range of resources for acquiring knowledge and professional opportunities. As against this, McKinsey's study reveals that women's networks, though tend to be narrower, are deeper than men's. Many of the leaders interviewed by McKinsey team talked about the importance of having relationships with seniors in the organization who could stick out his or her neck to create an opportunity to a protégé. But a number of studies have also shown that women who promote their own interests vigorously are often perceived as aggressive, uncooperative and selfish. It is also felt that men practice "reciprocity" better than women. This coupled with the perceived awkward sexual politics between senior executives and younger women, makes it harder for women to get sponsors in the offices. It is therefore all the more essential for women to assess their comfort level with the people they work in office and how influential they are professionally, and practice reciprocity. Many successful women leaders are found to be adept at finding sponsors and building networks.
We have one such scene in Ramayana where we encounter Sita displaying a fine piece of articulation about dharma that reveals her sense of `belongingness' to her husband and brother-in-law, also; her commitment for `reciprocity' immediately after Rama and Lakshmana finishes Virdha. That day, early in the morning, as Rama and Lakshmana are about to leave, it is the turn of Sita to bring the bows and arrows from inside and give to the brothers who were to wear them. And as they leave the hermitage after taking leave of the Rishi, Sita, with a strong sense of what she owed her husband—sense of belonging—poses a problem to him. True to her stature, Sita protests against her husband killing Rakshasas at the behest of Rishis which according to her is a transgression of a yati, muni, which Rama was to be in the forest. She says: "there are three transgressions to which a man is liable even when he makes a slight departure from propriety. False speech is extremely bad; the other two are even worse than that—copulation with the wife of another and cruelty without enmity. A false statement you have never made nor will you ever make... how can there spring up in you the desire for others' wives, that destroys Dharma? You have not got it, nor was it ever with you. ...Dharma and Truth—everything is well-established in you. ...But the third terrible evil, viz., the taking of others' lives, which is done without enmity due to ignorance, is facing you. O hero, you have undertaken a vow to kill the ogres on the battlefield for the protection of sages living in the Dandaka forest; and for this (very) purpose you have set out with arrows and a bow towards the forest well-known as Dandaka with your brother. ...Hence, seeing you on your way to the Dandaka, my mind is perturbed with anxiety, thinking of your behavior and of your highest well-being and worldly interests. I do not like, O hero, your going towards the Dandaka. I shall tell you the reason for that; while I speak of it, please listen."
She continues to say: "Association with a weapon is said to be of the same consequence as is the association with fire. Due to love and great respect I am making you acquainted with this and advising you that while taking the bow you should never take into your head to kill the ogres residing in Dandaka without enmity. ...What connection is there between a weapon and forest-life? What affinity is there between the duty of a Kshatriya and asceticism? The two are contradictory. Let us respect the laws of the place. ...After returning to Ayodhya you can again follow the duty of a warrior. ...From Dharma follows wealth, from Dharma comes happiness, by recourse to Dharma one gets everything. This world has Dharma as its essence. The wise emaciate themselves with effort by imposing several restrictions on themselves and achieve Dharma. Dharma does not follow from merriment. With a pious mind, O gentle Rama, always practice righteousness in the forest suited for austerities. In fact, everything comprised in the three worlds is truly known to you. I have said this just in consonance with the frivolity of a woman. Who is really capable of teaching Dharma to you? However, thinking over it by recourse to reason together with your younger brother you may do whatever appeals to you. Let there be no delay."
Mightily pleased of what Sita said, Rama says: "You have said this to me because you have a right to do so. It was done in good faith, out of an honest desire to put me on the right path. I am not offended... Nobody will chide one whom he does not care for. You chide me, because you are interested in me, because you love me, because you think I should do no wrong, incur no sin." That is the power of one's attempt to connect with people—of expressing concern for others, exhibiting a sense of belongingness. How competent such acts are in strengthening human bondage!
Engaging
It is the usual belief that hard work will eventually get noticed and rewarded. But it is also equally true that it usually does not get noticed. Hence, it is suggested that one need to "create one's own luck." To reap the benefits from one's own act, one should develop one's own voice, literally. It is often reported that even senior executives lose out by not speaking up. Hence, any woman leader wishing to develop should also take ownership of their professional development. There are leaders, like Mary Ma, Lenova's former CFO, who, looking inward to see how she could be a more effective leader, took a systematic approach to self-improvement, without being told by someone and met with successes. Such engagement, of course, is embedded with risk. Psychologist, Daniel Gilbert says that people who choose risk and work with it, rather than avoid it, are reported to be enjoying more happiness than others do. The McKinsey's study reveals that "to embrace opportunity, people must often take sharp detours and that the risks of unexpected changes seem more obvious than the benefits." Hence, it is suggested that reaching out to others—not to avoid making decisions oneself but to learn the best outcome from change—can often help one see opportunities in the right frame and decide whether to go for them.
We see this trait being employed by Sita to dissuade Ravana through a meaningful exposition from committing sin. In one of his frequent visits to Asokavana where he kept Sita, Ravana tells Sita: "You smile so sweetly; your teeth are so attractive; your eyes are so winsome; you captivate me utterly, as Garuda does when he meets serpents. Come, let us drink together, let us sport together, let us enjoy each other's company..."
All this, of course, is gall and wormwood to Sita. It annoys and provokes her extremely. She scorns him, but engages him with an argument that is a mixture of threat, flattery and advice to see whether any of these modes could conquer his wickedness. This is her advice to him, pitched in the highest possible key: "You do not understand the sanctity of marriage. When you have got another man's wife in your keeping, you must protect her as you would have your own wife protected from others. Think of yourself; think of everybody like you, and then delight in the company of your own wedded wives." In a surprise she says: "Are there no good people in Lanka, are there no honest men who care for righteous conduct, and would you not be guided by them? It cannot be. Lanka is a big place, the Vedas are chanted here, our religion is followed faithfully. There must be many good people. I suspect that you do not follow them. You do not care for the good people that are here. Seeing that your mind is bent upon evil courses, I gather that although there are good people to give you proper guidance, you do not listen to them." It is her positive frame of mind and the strong belief in her character from which constant flow of energy is ensured that makes her even in such hour of crisis to engage Ravana and make him understand what good men should do in any community. Indeed, during these long months of imprisonment in Asokavana, she engages herself to delve into the deeps within to gain strength to face Ravana's blandishments and threats.
That is the noble tale of Sita. Valmiki chiseled her character as a tremblingly human and graciously divine heroine. She is innocent but wise; gentle but strong, and full of love and compassion. And all this reflects in her motivations, conversations, and actions. In creating such a noble character, it is perhaps the intention of the poet saint that whenever we pass through moments of despair and feel helpless and hopeless under the pressure of a menacing atmosphere, we shall recall how Sita overcame the ordeals in her life by sheer dint of her optimism, her clear sense of what matters most to her, her clever management of energy levels, her art of engaging people in discourse in dharma and guide ourselves through the maze of life challenges.
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