ORGANIZATIONAL LOYALTY

Passion and Purpose: Lessons From My Parents

-- Dan Coughlin

If you want to maintain the enthusiasm and make the effective decisions necessary to accelerate through this economic crisis, it is critical to take the time necessary to clarify the purpose of your career, the purpose of your work group, and the purpose of your organization.

I'm 46 years old, but recently I cried like a baby. Deep, heaving sobs that I couldn't control at all. This went on for thirteen days: the last eight days of my dad's life and the five days leading up to his funeral. I knew he was very sick from Dementia with Lewey Bodies. He spent most of his adult life at well over 200 pounds. On the day he died he was down to 110 pounds. This powerful, muscular man with an easy smile and constant teasing had been robbed of his mind and muscles. He didn't know my name for the last six months of his life.

I was on my way back to St. Louis on a Wednesday from a seminar I gave in Florida when my wife left a message that my mom had called and said to come straight to her condominium. She didn't think Dad would make it through the night. I spent that night and most of the next seven days by my dad's side. I kissed his hands and his forehead over and over and over again. I told him dozens of times, "Dad, I love you, thank you for everything you've done for me. Thank you for what you taught me. I'm going to do my best to always follow your advice." On that Wednesday night, Dad managed to say, "…love you too."

Along with my five brothers and sisters and my mom, I was at Dad's bedside when he took his last breath. I held his hand for the last time, then I put it on his chest, and kissed his forehead one last time and said, "Dad, thank you. I love you very much. And I'm very, very proud of you." He had said that to me literally hundreds of times during my lifetime. The day after he died we began to plan his funeral. I wanted to say a few things at the Eulogy. So did one of my sisters and one of my brothers. The person in charge of the funeral said to keep our remarks very brief. I asked, "How brief do you mean?" He said, "One minute." I said, "I'll keep it brief, but that's impossible. I will be done in two-and-a-half minutes." He said, "Fine." Then it hit me. How in the world do I summarize my thoughts about Dad in two-and-a-half minutes? I spent the next four days honing my thoughts and practicing them over and over.

For many people the death of a parent is a defining moment in their lives. For me, it was a profoundly reinforcing moment. It reinforced who I am, who I want to be, and why I am this way.

In bold is the Eulogy I gave for my dad. Following those comments are some additional thoughts I have.

Dad was absolutely the best man I've ever known.

He was always an absolute gentleman. I never once saw Dad say or do a rude or mean thing to another person. He was always a gentleman.

Dan Coughlin works with executives and managers at large and mid-size companies to improve their business momentum. He is a business keynote speaker, management consultant, and author of ACCELERATE: 20 Practical Lessons to Boost Business Momentum. Dan's clients include Coca-Cola, Abbott, Toyota, Boeing, Marriott, McDonald's, AT&T, American Bar Association, YPO, Vistage International, Roush Fenway Racing, and the St. Louis Cardinals. He speaks on leadership, branding, sales, and innovation. His next book is The Management 500: A High-Octane Formula for Business Success is published in May 2009 by AMACOM.

During my business career, I've met many talented and successful people. However, I still get instantly turned off by rudeness. I get nauseated by people who swear and talk dirty in a crowded room or who think it's funny to demean another person in front of others. Several times I've walked away from an otherwise potentially good relationship because I just couldn't stand being around someone who I thought was being extremely rude to other people.

Dad was absolutely committed to his family. He did have that side job at Laclede Gas Company for 44 years, but his main job for 53 years was helping to raise the six of us kids. And he and Mom did an amazing job as parents. They gave everything they had, their time, their talent, their energy, and their resources to help each of us do as well as we could at whatever we were doing at any given moment.

Dad's lifework was being a dad. I never saw him read a book or Fortune magazine or the Wall Street Journal. He didn't play golf between the ages of 43 and 63. He and Mom basically focused all of their attention on doing the best they could to raise the six of us kids. Recently I read two great books called, Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell and Talent is Overrated by Geoff Colvin. They both talked about the importance of the 10,000-Hour Rule that they learned from Anders Ericsson. Essentially, they found that it takes 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to become truly world class at any activity. I would say my parents poured in something like 20,000 hours of deliberate practice as parents. In the area that my parents wanted to be successful I would say they were and are truly world class.

Dad was absolutely the humblest man I've ever known. He never once bragged about his own achievements. He always gave the credit to other people. When one of the six of us kids achieved something he would always give us all of the credit as though somehow we could achieve things without his influence. That is not what happened. The reason we were able to achieve things was because of Dad's influence and because of Mom's influence. So in reality all of the credit for anything that the six of us have ever achieved goes to Dad and Mom.

Jim Collins wrote about this type of leadership in his book, Good to Great. He called it Level 5 Leadership. The key attribute of a Level 5 Leader is humility, which means the person puts the good of the organization ahead of his or her own good and gives the credit for the success of the organization to the people in the organization and not to himself or herself. By this definition, my parents are like Level 7 Leaders. They influenced us, but then they gave us all the credit when things were achieved.

Dad and Mom are the two greatest teachers I've ever had. They didn't teach us academic stuff. They taught us values. They taught us how to behave and how to think for ourselves. The things that I'm most appreciative to Dad for and the things that I'm most appreciative to Mom for are the values they instilled inside of us because now no matter what happens in the future I know that I can always turn back to these values to help guide me to make the right decisions.

This was the key thing that was reinforced for me when my dad died. His legacy was not in the money he left behind or the material gifts he gave to us. His legacy was in the invisible, the intangible things he left behind. He left behind a set of values that guide me moment by moment. After I gave my Eulogy I started thinking about the values I received from my parents. I made a list of them and here they are.

Values I learned from Dad and Mom

Sacrifice is a good thing. Good things come to those who wait. Be committed to your family and always be completely faithful. Be a gentleman at all times, and don't ever say or do a mean or rude thing to another person. Focus on helping other people achieve their goals. Dream and pursue your dreams. Don't brag about what you've done or achieved, brag about what other people have achieved. Be attentive, present, and actively involved in the life of each family member. Get as good an education as you can and always work to become better educated. Be a teacher and a role model of values that people can gain value from. Be plain and real so people can be comfortable around you. Have a sense of humor and laugh a lot. Don't ever try to impress other people with money or with what money can buy. Say "I love you" a lot and mean it. Never forget you're a Coughlin. Write handwritten personal letters as often as possible. Never act like you have all the answers. Sit down and enjoy a one-to-one conversation. Stay with one thing at a time. Be creative and pragmatic. Remember you're as good as anyone else, but you're no better than anyone else. Stay true to yourself, and don't let someone else dictate the way you behave. Always be a good steward of the resources you have available to you. Volunteer to help others, but not to the point it keeps you from being with your family. Always maintain a strong relationship with God. Get up and go to work every day. Discipline your kids, hug them every day, and let them know when you're proud of them. Never swear or say a cussword.

This was the profoundly reinforcing part of my dad's passing away. In being with him for those last eight days of his life, in preparing for his funeral and reflecting on his impact on me, and in writing down the values I learned from him and from Mom, I found there was a life's roadmap laid out for me. What I need to do is to be disciplined and stay on that path.

The only thing I'm not absolutely sure about is I'm not absolutely certain that Dad ever realized how truly great he was as a man, how truly remarkable he was as a human being. So I just want to close by saying…

Dad, I Love You. You Are Absolutely The Greatest Man I've Ever Known, And I Am Very, Very, Very Proud of You.

I meant what I said that day. In terms of being a man, a dad, a teacher of values, a person who succeeded in the area that he wanted to succeed in, Dad was absolutely the greatest man I've ever known. I have his picture by my desk here, I look into his eyes often, I listen to what he has to say, and I try my best to follow his advice.

Passion Comes From Purpose, Not the Other Way Around

Raison d'etre. I just love that phrase. It means, "reason for existence." If you want to maintain the enthusiasm and make the effective decisions necessary to accelerate through this economic crisis, it is critical to take the time necessary to clarify the purpose of your career, the purpose of your work group, and the purpose of your organization. Being excited all day won't help you find a purpose in your work. Knowing the reason why you, your group, and your organization do what you do will generate a steady flow of passion even in the worst of times as long as you really believe in the purpose of that work. If not, then find the work that has the purpose you want.

My next book, The Management 500, is about management lessons from the history of auto racing. As I peeled back the layers of the auto racing onion, I found a heart. A great big pulsating heart. Actually I found a lot of hearts. The secret to the success of NASCAR, IndyCar, and Formula 1 racing is passion. Drivers, engineers, mechanics, crew chiefs, crew members, and fans alike derive incredible passion from a simple purpose—a desire to win the race.

One of my favorite pieces in my research was finding an original copy of Enzo Ferrari's 1964 autobiography. One sentence stands out above all the others. He wrote, "Fate is to a good extent in our own hands if we only know clearly what we want and are steadfast in our purpose."

Sports

Carl Edwards was named the NASCAR.com 2008 Driver of the Year. How did he do it? He finished in 2nd place in both the season-long NASCAR Sprint Cup Series and the season-long NASCAR Nationwide Series. This means that from February through November of 2008, Carl Edwards competed successfully over the course of 36 races in two different leagues. It would be like a professional basketball team coming in second in the NBA and second in the top Spanish League in the same season. And where does his passion come from? He has an extraordinary desire to win races.

Not-For-Profits

Dan Harbaugh is president of Ronald McDonald House Charities (RMHC) in St. Louis. Dan Harbaugh is one of the most consistently passionate people I've ever met. I've known Dan for ten years and have seen him present to hundreds of people, have discussions in small groups, and attend seminars as a student in the very best of economic times and the very worst. In every situation he brings an extraordinary degree of passion. Where does this passion come from and how can he possibly sustain it so consistently? The answer lies in his purpose. He absolutely believes in the purpose of RMHC, which is primarily to provide a home away from home for the families of very sick children. With that purpose in mind, he continues to march forward with enthusiasm.

Small Businesses

Elaine Floyd is a small business owner with two busy teenagers and a very busy husband. Elaine Floyd is one of the most passionate people I've met in the past fifteen years. She is the president of EFG, Inc., which helps clients craft their messages into really powerful professionally published books. And where does Elaine draw her passion from? She finds enormous excitement and satisfaction in helping other people get their message out by intersecting cutting-edge computer technology with the creative flair of high-end book publishing.

Schools

Matt Miller is a grade school principal. He brings more passion to his work than almost anyone I know. I've seen him get four hundred kids to scream and yell about reading books and compreh-ending what they know. I've seen him get students to cheer for each other for being kind to one another. I've seen him wander into classrooms, accept trays in the cafeteria, and pat kids on the back. I've seen him snap two fingers and get hundreds of loud kids to become instantly quiet. And where does his daily enthusiasm come from? He wants kids to succeed in life, and he understands that it's the little things that make for long-term, lifelong success.

Big Businesses

Roy Spence is Chairman and CEO of GSD&M Idea City, which over the past 20 years has been the advertising agency for BMW, AT&T, Wal-Mart, AARP, Southwest Airlines, the PGA Tour, American Red Cross, and a host of other major organizations. Roy Spence is the most passionate person I've ever met, and his purpose is to help organizations make a difference in the world. And he's very, very good at it. Over the course of three years, I worked as a consultant with a few dozen people at GSD&M Idea City in a wide variety of functions and up and down the org chart. Every time I walked into their building I felt as though I was stepping into the Disney Company back in the 1930s when Walt Disney was actively involved. The creative energy pulsated throughout the building.

In the more than 40 meetings I attended there a single common theme came up every time. In every meeting, the common question was, "How will this idea support the purpose of this client's business?" Everything at GSD&M Idea City revolved around this question. If the idea did not support the client organization's purpose for existence, then it was rejected. It was this passionate commitment to finding and supporting the client's purpose that helped lead to extraordinary break-through results for many of these organizations.

Roy Spence, and GSD&M Idea City's chief purposeologist, Haley Rushing, have written an extraordinary new book called, It's Not What You Sell, It's What You Stand For. I encourage you to read this book. It is packed with practical advice and real-world examples on how to intersect the idealism of purpose with the pragmatism necessary to generate extraordinary business results.

I believe that as you read it you will find yourself, as I did, thinking more and more about why you do what you do, why your groups do what they do, and why your organization exists. You will also find the key questions to answer on how to convert a business purpose into a driver of better sustainable results. This book is really a masterpiece on making the purpose of an organization the driver of effective decision making. Through its ideas, suggested tactics, and real-life examples at Southwest Airlines, BMW, the PGA Tour, and many others you will clearly see how a well-defined purpose can impact your operations, research and development, hiring, and marketing, and produce extraordinary sustainable results.

And what is the purpose of The Coughlin Company?

Our purpose is to democratize great management performance. We empower executives and managers in all types of organizations to achieve great perform-ance by demystifying and simplifying management processes that can be applied immediately.

The reason why The Coughlin Company exists is we want executives and managers in every organization, from for-profit to not-for-profit, to be able to convert resources into value that drives extraordinary sustainable results. We believe great management performance is the foundation for an on-going strong economy and that it can happen in any organization.

Downtime is a Terrific Time to Prepare for Greatness

If your business has slowed down, don't waste a minute worrying. Instead use this time to clarify your answers to these three critically important questions:

• Why do I do what I do for a living?

• Why does my work group exist?

• What purpose is our organization trying to fulfill?

The first step to building an extraordinary career, team, and organization is to know the reason behind the activities. This clarification will help you and others decide what to do and more importantly what not to do. With a clear purpose, you can sustain a focused effort over the long term and generate extraordinary results.